New Financial Fraud Unit

During Tuesday’s State of the Union address, President Barack Obama announced that a new Financial Crimes Unit we going to investigate mortgage. ABOUT FRKN TIME! According to officials at the DOJ, the unit will be tasked with looking into fraud going back at least 10 years.

Supposedly, the Financial Crimes Unit unit will focus on both origination and securitization of mortgage loans. This includes loans that were sold to, and insured by, government agencies.
Queue the rich bankers pissing on themselves and crying about the entire idea of being held accountable. JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon told CNBC on Thursday, that this “has a pretty good chance of derailing” the settlement. JPMorgan is one of the nations largest five banks and is involved in secret negotiations with the states’ attorneys general and the Obama administration.
Personally, I hope this new unit will be strong enough to throw some cold water & sunlight onto the negotiations now taking place. We waited this far for the bastards to be held accountable, no sense in rushing it just for the election.
Of course, the banks are interested in the settlement because they believe that it will protect their sorry asses from future liability. Kind of like buying a judge. But it appears the DOJ is not concerned about the fate of the settlement talks. “We have certainly heard criticisms that the settlement would give immunity for all, but that’s simply not true …This is addressing a very different problem than the servicing settlement,” said one official.
It appears the unit will be focusing on four main legal issues:

  • false statements
  • mail fraud
  • wire fraud
  • failure to comply with the Financial Institutions Reform, Recovery and Enforcement Act of 1989

Currently, the new Financial Crimes Unit has 15 attorneys and 10 investigators, including some FBI agents. It will eventually have about 60 people, plus five co-chairs, and will include a mix of new hires & current staff from different agencies. Including the Internal Revenue Service, Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, Department of Housing and Urban Development, the Treasury Department, Federal Housing Administration and even the the Federal Housing Finance Agency; grand overseer of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

HuffPo: The new unit’s co-chairs had their first call Wednesday and included staff from the office of Delaware Attorney General Beau Biden, who has resisted signing on to a settlement deal. The unit is funded through “existing resources,” according to the Justice Department officials and is part of the larger Financial Fraud Enforcement Task Force established in 2009 to investigate the roots of the 2008 financial crisis.
With representatives from more than 20 federal agencies and 94 U.S. attorneys offices, the 2009 task force has disappointed critics who argue that it has chosen to pursue relatively small fraudsters while leaving alone the major offenders, including the CEOs of banks that wrongfully foreclosed on struggling homeowners.
Eric Schneiderman, the New York attorney general, is one of the new unit’s five co-chairs. He gained prominence last year with his repeated assertions that the pending deal between the administration and the five banks would be too soft on the Wall Street behemoths, which are accused of falsifying mortgage documents and inappropriately denying loan modifications to needy homeowners. Specifically, Schneiderman has said he is worried that states would be required to drop potential legal battles against the banks in exchange for securing $25 billion in assistance for struggling homeowners.

“This new unit will hold accountable those who broke the law, speed assistance to homeowners and help turn the page on an era of recklessness that hurt so many Americans,” Obama said on Tuesday. I say, ‘Prove it!

Facebook Is Filing For IPO

Facebook may be filing for an IPO as early as Wednesday.

WSJ: Facebook Inc. could file papers for an initial public offering as early as next week and is close to picking Morgan Stanley as the lead underwriter for its IPO, said people familiar with the matter.
Facebook could file papers for the IPO as early as this coming Wednesday, but that timing is still being discussed, said a person familiar with the matter. The company is currently looking at a valuation of $75 billion to $100 billion, this person said.

The fight to manage Facebook’s IPO has been one of the most competitive contests on Wall Street in the past year. The winner of that battle will pick up some massive bragging rights and (of course) tens of millions of dollars in fees.
Currently, the largest global technology IPO was $5.9 billion offer way back in 2000 by Infineon Technologies AG, the former semiconductor unit of Siemens AG. And the largest global Internet IPO was also in 2000, $2.8 billion by World Online International NV.
And then there is Google. Google currently remain the largest U.S. Internet IPO at $1.9 billion sale in 2004; ranked No. 3 among global Internet IPOs.

What The Hell Is Going On?!

Welcome to the beginning of a wonderful experience. A magical land of information and citation. Where letters form words, become sentences and eventually return to nature as some form of feces.

You may not have noticed, but this is where I write about the news. Covering all topics and stories (that I damn well feel like) with a level sophistication and depth rarely seen. As an added bonus, I will be delivering the truthiness with near fatal doses of snark. So stay tuned for more news as told by a complete stranger.

In the meantime, here is a cute cat named Maru:

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*WARNING: the video ends with an extreme cat to box fetish display.

Virgin Mobile Will Throttle You

I just got an email letting my know that Virgin Mobile is now a throttler. As the once cheapest way for me to get an ok phone with unlimited data, I truly enjoyed using Virgin Mobile. But if they want to start throttling customers, then I might as well be an AT&T or Verizon customer and have a much better phone. One that always works and has a flash for the frkn camera!

from Virgin Mobile: To make sure we can keep offering our Beyond Talk Plans at such great prices, we’re putting a data speed reduction in place for anyone who uses over 2.5GB of data in a month.

How will it work?
Starting March 23, 2012, if you use over 2.5GB of data in a month on your Beyond Talk Plan:

Data speeds may be reduced to 256Kbps or below for the rest of your month. During this time, you may experience slower page loads and file downloads and lags in streaming media.

I can’t watch unspeakable acts of depravity and horror at 256kbps! And a quick Google of midget wrestling, mud wrestling, and lemon party will tell you why I can’t be limited to a paltry 2.5GB of data per month.

Meet The Sora, An Electric Superbike

& Transportation.

From The Creative Unit comes the SORA, an incredibly beautiful electric motorcycle. This electric warhorse features design elements of Bobber and Café Racer/Street Fighter bikes, combined into one innovative and stunning ride. The Bobber influence can be seen in the rear fender that is fixed to the wheel, while the Street Fighter influence can be seen in the dynamics of the front of the bike.

Keep in mind, this is not a design concept. This is something you can test ride, purchase and own!
For more details check out the official website: LitoGreenMotion.com